Guest House Stank


We hope you will enjoy your stay in our guest house.

There are fresh cookies on the counter. The sun will rise out the living room window. The sheets and towels are fresh and fluffy. Candles are burning.

Sit back, read a book, watch the horses frolick, draw a bath, and relax in your own private retreat...

Oh, that aroma? It's a delicate blend of canine feces, pungent feline urine, dirt, mold, and just a dash of loose kitty stool encrusted into the cheap carpet fibers.


Yeahhh. So. About that guest house. That's a fake up there. Not ours at all.

That is the picture I had in my mind when dreaming about our very own guest house.

It also makes for a nice cover photo.

I was so naive when we bought this property. I had grandiose ideas of fixing it up and having my friends and family members out for the weekends. Being the perfect hostess and offering the guest house for a little extra privacy and relaxation.

Cozy blankets folded down, little soaps.

"Hey guys, just come on over to the main house for breakfast and coffee when you're awoken by the sun rise."

Well. Our reality is that the guest house is repulsive.

Yet we're dependant on it.

The following pictures are our actual 'guest house' and the photos were taken before we bought the farm.

Glorified trailer?

It was bad when we bought it.

The previous owners, who let everything else go, really did a doozy on the guest house. They had several dogs who were apparently living there, free to relieve themselves inside and then not cleaned up very well.

And, yes, that IS an iron mark burned into the center of the living room carpet below...

To make matters worse, my poor Bengal kitty Suki (who we moved into the guest house because of renovations) became unexplainably ill and started going to the bathroom all over the house. After many vet visits and countless tests, we still have no answers but she has slightly improved and taken up the litter box again. Most of the time... But the damage is already done.

So, to be fair. Maybe the previous owners had a bunch of really sick dogs?

In addition to all of that nastiness, we're living a renovation nightmare in the main farmhouse and we've been without a kitchen (add also dining, laundry, and powder rooms) since August.

Yes. Freaking AUGUST.

The guest house has has become a necessary evil. We've been reliant on the kitchen and laundry room.

Looking through these pictures, it doesn't seem that bad...

But you can't smell the pictures. Oh and that nice refrigerator below, it doesn't even work...

And the backsplash is the same as the floor...

This house serves as a place for Suki and also the dogs while we're at work.

Oh, and as a storage unit for all our shit that can't be in the main house until we have those aforementioned rooms...

All of these photos are pre storage unit you can barely see the floor...either due to boxes or poo stains...

Yep, just living the dream over here...

When we get a kitchen (and the other rooms...should I say if or when at this point...?) and we can live like normal people again, we are bulldozing that stinky SOB and plan to rebuild a pretty little garage/guest house.

Cue dream vision...


Then. Ah... I can live out my B&B dreams on my friends and family.


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